shadowcat424

I feel like I'm forgetting who I am. I feel like I've finally entered the real world, the way everyone eventually does, and it's like I'm losing myself in the madness. I don't know who I am, or what I want out of life. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know who I want to be. In short, I don't know anything. It's not so much an identity crisis, as...a crisis of being. I don't know what that word means anymore. Music is an emotional catharsis of the purest kind.

January 2010 is almost halfway over, which I find odd. I spent my entire high school career waiting anxiously (and sometimes fearfully) for sping 2009...it's just strange to think that now, that time has past, and graduation is no longer looming in front of me like some great barrier for me to cross. When I was growing up, I always felt like graduating from high school was the bridge between safe, effortless childhood and real life. I guess I've crossed the bridge. New Years Resolutions, eh? I suppose I should make a few life-changing goals for the year...cliche, I know, but at least I can say I'm working for a better me. Besides, what do I

Okay, so, I write a journal entry in the early hours of Thanksgiving, so why not write one in the early hours of Christmas as well? Nothing overly interesting has happened to me in the last few weeks. I ended with a C+ in Spanish, my final exam having been the equivalent of an academic Hiroshima. At first I flipped out, thinking that the world as I knew it had ended. In IB, it was understandable; they asked the impossible of us there, and all but the most intelligent of the most intelligent succumbed to a lower GPA than they would have had at a "normal" high school. This was college, though. I'd always been told it would be easy for me, that